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LCS Hockey Staff

Name: Michael Dell

Date o' Birth: February 17, 1975

Location: Greensburg, Pennsylvania

LCS Credit: Special Guest Star, former Editor-In-Chief and founding member of LCS: Guide to Hockey

Email: dell1921@aol.com

Other Information: My earliest childhood memories involve traveling around the United States in a multi-colored bus with my musical family. We used to play shows all over the place... clubs, concert halls, amusement parks, you name it. I used to be a bad man on the bass guitar.

The editor as a boy, even then
dreaming of world domination.

As I grew older, I began to lose interest in the family's musical career. So I convinced our manager, Reuben, to let me out of the act. With my family still on the road, I was able to get a job as first-mate on a small tour boat. Unfortunately, though, I had some bad luck on my first trip when a storm came out of nowhere and blew our ship off course. Once the weather calmed, we discovered that we were stranded on a deserted island. Let's see... there was me, the Skipper (some big fat guy that kept calling me his "little buddy"...real creepy), a millionaire and his wife (yeah, "millionaire"... he wouldn't even tip me for carrying around his bamboo golf clubs, the cheap bastard), a movie star (she never gave me the time of day... probably gay), a professor (real smart guy this one, he could build a radio out of coconuts, but he couldn't fix the hole in our damn boat), and Mary Anne (she must have been gay too). The seven of us went through a lot back then.

Luckily, we were rescued after only a few months... by either the Coast Guard or the Harlem Globetrotters, I can't remember which. Anyway, after that experience I decided I had enough sailing to last me a lifetime. So I returned to my family in Brooklyn, New York, and finished out my last year of high school at good ol' James Buchanan High.

One of my teachers back at school took me under his wing and really had an effect on my life. Yes, I'll never forget all the lessons that Gabe Kotter and his wife Julie taught me about life and friendship.

After graduation, I had trouble finding a job right away, so I started to drive a taxi for the Sunshine Cab Company. However, I quickly realized that the life of a cab driver wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I needed to do something better with my life. I wanted to make a difference in the lives of other people. I also wanted to help my community. So, I decided to enter the police academy.

Once out of the academy, I teamed up with another rookie cop and we began to work as a dynamic undercover duo. We used to drive around the city in my '75 Ford Tarino busting heads. With the help of Huggy Bear, our pimp informer, Hutch and I did our best to rid the streets of crime.

While the work was fulfilling (it's hard to beat car chases and shooting people), my life as a police officer didn't last long. After Hutch and I inadvertently contributed to the death of an innocent man, we decided to give up the police business. We went down to the beach and threw our badges in the ocean and then went our separate ways. However, what appeared to be one of the darkest days of my life quickly turned into one of the best.

As I was walking aimlessly along the beach that day, I tripped over what looked to be an ancient Egyptian bottle. After inspecting it closely, I carefully removed the cork. To my surprise, I was greeted by a puff of pink smoke that turned into a beautiful blonde genie. She was so grateful for me releasing her from her prison that she fell madly in love with me and we were soon married.

Sure, being married to a genie isn't always easy. You should see some of the trouble she gets me and my buddy Roger Healy into! If Dr. Bellows down at NASA ever found out I was married to a genie, he'd probably try and kick me right out of the space program!

Despite all the wacky misadventures we've gone through, Jeanie and I are still very much in love to this day. In fact, we just recently adopted our first two children... two young boys from Harlem named Arnold and Willis. Ah, they're great kids. What a lucky life I've lived!