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Stanley Cup Odds
Free LCS 1997-98
Reader Hockey Pool
General NHL News and Notes
by Michael Dell, Apprentice Wonder Chimp
Zippy, everyone's favorite wonder chimp and the usual author of Chimp Bytes, is out of town on a very important mission to further our quest for world domination. So I've been drafted to write the column. I thought I had burned my draft card, but apparently that was my library card. I didn't even know I had a library card. Anyway, here's some of that latest NHL news jazz...
ALL-STARS TEAMS NAMED
This year the NHL is gettin' all zany and changing the format, making it North America vs. the World. Oooh, spooky. So here are those rosters...
STARTERS Peter Forsberg Teemu Selanne Jaromir Jagr Slava Fetisov Sandis Ozolinsh Dominik Hasek RESERVES Bobby Holik Saku Koivu Jari Kurri Igor Larinov Mats Sundin Daniel Alfredsson Peter Bondra Pavel Bure Valeri Kamensky Jari Kurri Igor Larionov Jere Lehtinen Ziggy Palffy Igor Kravchuk Nicklas Lidstrom Dmitri Mironov Sergei Zubov Nikolai Khabibulin Olaf Kolzig Coach: Ken Hitchcock Assistant Coach: Marc Crawford
North American Roster
STARTERS Eric Lindros John LeClair Brendan Shanahan Ray Bourque Brian Leetch Patrick Roy RESERVES Joe Sakic Wayne Gretzky Mark Messier Mike Modano Doug Weight Tony Amonte Theo Fleury Shayne Corson Mark Recchi Keith Tkachuk Chris Chelios Al MacInnis Scott Niedermayer Scott Stevens Darryl Sydor Ed Belfour Martin Brodeur Coach: Jacques Lemaire Assistant Coach: Kevin Constantine
People Who Don't Give a Rat's Ass Roster
EAGLESON NOW A CONVICTED WEASEL
On March 31, the board of directors for the Hockey Hall of Fame will vote on whether or not to boot Eagleson out of the Hall. Hall-of-Famer Brad Park has gone on record as saying that he will remove himself form the Hall if Eagleson is not kicked out. You da man, Brad.
FEDOROV HAPPY WITHOUT HOCKEY
However, some people are questioning whether or not he even cares about hockey anymore. Word on the street is that he is so infatuated with his girlfriend, tennis star Anna Kournikova, that hockey is no longer an important part of his life. But here's the rub. Kournikova is only 16. Hmm ha. How does that work exactly? If they go out on a date, does Sergei pick up extra money for babysitting? No word yet on whether or not the couple have a future planned, but right now they just like to take long walks on the beach, share quiet dinners at Chuck E. Cheese, and do math homework together.
NEDVED A NO GO
Nedved's agent, Tony Kondel, insists that since Nedved never signed a contract with the Czech team and did not receive any payment, he should be allowed back in without worrying about the waiver rule. Now keep in mind, the league Nedved played in was third-division... in the Czech Republic! The guys in the league all have day jobs. It's pretty much a glorified beer league. And Nedved only played exhibition games. So keeping him out of the NHL is jive. I mean, it's not like the league can afford to lose young, charismatic stars like Nedved. The league should make an exception and let him play. But, of course, that would make too much sense. And as we all know, the NHL has absolutely no common sense. They're not really much for that there book larnin' either...
DALLAS TO HONOR BROTEN
HUNTER HITS MILESTONE
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