Detroit Red Wings Updated: January 28, 2003

Team      GP  W  L T OTL  GF  GA PTS 
DETROIT   50 27 14 7   2 147 124  63 
ST LOUIS  51 26 15 6   4 163 132  62 
CHICAGO   51 21 18 9   3 123 125  54 
NASHVILLE 50 17 21 8   4 114 133  46 
COLUMBUS  50 19 25 4   2 142 157  44 

Team News

by Andrew Loughrey, Detroit Correspondent

That's right, kids, it's time for the 2003 Detroit Red Wings Griffin Awards, brought to you by Family Guy, Pawtucket Pete's, The Synonym Finder and this reporter's willingness to dump a trite and contrived "report card"-style fluff piece in your lap after the 50th game of the season. So sit back, relax and get ready to be underwhelmed...

Live from the Quahog Convention Center
For those who don't know, "Family Guy" is an animated show that appeared on Fox for a few years. The show was cancelled at some point last season, I believe. Anyway, the show was based on the Griffins - a typical Rhode Island family (or so says my one pseudo-criminal friend from Rhode Island). The Griffins are: Peter (the dad), Lois (the mom), Chris (the teenaged son), Meg (the sister), Stewie (the baby) and Brian (the talking dog).

There are award categories for every family member. My ranking strategies will be revealed within each category. The awards will be conferred from worst-to-best because that is how all lists should be presented. Each player will have the following stats listed (games played, goals-assists-points, +/-). The two goaltenders' stats will be (games played, wins-losses-ties, goals against avg, save percentage). And away we go...

The Megs
Let's face it, Meg had one good episode - the one where she got a job at the waffle restaurant by convincing everyone her baby brother was her own crack baby. With that in mind, these are the award winners for incomplete and/or inconclusive results.

Jiri Fischer D (15, 1-5-6, 0)
Tore his left ACL 15 games into the season. Was poised to have a good year. His return even for the playoffs is questionable at this point.

Jason Williams C (15, 3-3-6, +4)
Has had some success when he has had a chance to play this year. Lack of ability to stand out on a team of superstars and hyped youngsters is hurting his cause.

Patrick Boileau D (10, 1-1-2, +4)
The last, last, last line of defense. Has only seen action when two of the other seven defensemen are sidelined with injuries. Playing well in Grand Rapids when not dressed for Detroit. Barring another injury at the blue line, will breakthrough next year.

The Peters
As fathers go, Peter Griffin might just be the worst imaginable role model. I would rank him lower than Homer Simpson. In honor of the biggest screw-up on television, here are Detroit's biggest disappointments so far this year.

Luc Robitaille L (49, 4-14-18, +1)
"Lucky" Luc has been anything but. Mired in the worst scoring slump of his career, Robitaille has four goals on 104 shots. Most people (including Luc) think he needs to shoot himself out of his slump. I think he needs to focus on other ways to contribute to his team (i.e. getting back on defense, making smart outlet passes, etc). Once you start to do, and focus on doing, all of the little things right, it's amazing how everything else falls in line.

Jesse Wallin D (28, 0-1-1, -6)
Not having the most consistent season. Wallin is the seventh defenseman right now, filling in on nights when one of the top six needs a rest and/or is injured. Minus-6 is not a good plus/minus for a defenseman.

Boyd Devereaux C (42, 2-7-9, +6)
Poor Boyd. I didn't want to give him or Luc a Peter, but unfortunately, circumstances have forced my hand. After last season's success on a line with Brett Hull and Pavel Datsyuk, Devereaux was poised to breakout and expand on his numbers from last year. An unfortunate hand injury knocked him out of a pre-season in which he was on fire. He's still looking to regain his momentum from the end of training camp, and until he does, he is stuck with the third and final Peter award.

The Chrises
Chris Griffin is the overweight, probably greasy, oddball-weirdo of the family. But he learned it all and inherited it from Peter, so he's slightly less than a loser. The Chrises have been handed out to those players failing to meet expectations, yet not having altogether terrible years.

Chris Chelios D (43, 2-14-16, +7)
The league's youngest 969-year-old man, Chris Chelios has been made to look downright silly and out of place a few times this season. Never used to happen to ol' Methuselah. The stick tape and Joint-ritis holding him together must be failing. Might be time to drain his brain through his nose with that Egyptian hook-thingy you learned about in middle school.

Pavel Datsyuk C (32, 3-9-12, +2)
I hate to give this kid a Chris. I just know he should be labeled as still-developing talent. Unfortunately, injuries have limited Pavel's playing time and development thusfar. If he hadn't been so electric during his rookie campaign last year, he would not have such high expectations on his shoulders this year. Time to nut up and show the league you can still skate circles around 'em.

Curtis Joseph G (39, 19-13-5, 2.60, .908)
Definitely not living up to the hype that followed him to Detroit. Cujo's numbers are average-to-high for the typical NHL netminder, which makes it all the more embarrassing for Cujo himself. He is a high-profile goaltender, and he needs to start playing like one. Needs to find focus from somewhere. Needs to STOP giving up rebounds. Period.

The Stewies
Ah, Stewie: a 50-year-old mind trapped in a 2-year-old's body. His many attempts to kill his own mother have yet to come to fruition. More than that, his many attempts to kill his own mother, though fiendishly elaborate, go unnoticed by the rest of the family. The Stewies go out to the players with few expectations who deliver solid, consistent (though statistically unspectacular) performances.

Matthieu Dandenault D (42, 2-7-9, +3)
Seems to be consistently skating faster than everyone else on the ice. Arguably the league's best defenseman converted from a forward. Comfortable enough to jump into the play on the offensive end, yet not a defensive liability.

Igor Larionov C (42, 4-13-17, -4)
The Professor is sporting an uncharacteristic plus/minus rating, but is still the smartest player in the game. Intuits teammates' positions and artfully wills passes from tape to tape. Possibly his last go-round, though skating like he has a couple more years left in the tank.

Sean Avery C (30, 5-5-10, +6)
Terrific sparkplug. Leading the team in penalty minutes, as he should. My only complaint is that head coach Dave Lewis didn't play him in the Philadelphia game. I was aching to see a Sean Avery-Todd Fedoruk brawl. Instead, I had to settle for Donald Brashear using Darren McCarty's head for a punching bag. Booooo.

Darren McCarty R (50, 9-6-15, +5)
Speak of McCarty, Darren has played adequate hockey this year. He is trying to secure a new contract for next year and beyond. His play is not necessarily helping nor necessarily hurting his cause.

Dmitri Bykov D (42, 1-7-8, -1)
Rookie Russian blueliner is still adjusting to life in the NHL and the USA. Handles the puck well for a defenseman. Needs to work on quicker decision-making.

Maxim Kuznetsov D (40, 0-3-3, +3)
Last year's "unofficial team translator" for Pavel Datsyuk is this year's "unofficial team translator" for Dmitri Bykov. Second-year Russian d-man needs to stop talking for other people and work on taking his own game to the next level.

The Brians
One of the more confusing concepts on "Family Guy" is Brian. Brian is the family dog, yet he walks on two feet, drinks more than most LCS correspondents, and speaks English. For some reason, the Griffins can completely understand Brian, yet even though baby Stewie speaks as though he is middle-aged, no one except the talking dog can understand him. No one expects a dog to be able to talk or drink, yet Brian does both (and so much more). Here are the Red Wings' overachievers.

Henrik Zetterberg L (47, 9-12-21, -4)
Gained recognition as the only non-NHLer on the Swedish Olympic team last year. Has skated into the Joe this year and followed up his hype with some impressive numbers. Zetterberg is fifth in both goals and assists for all rookies, and is third among NHL rookies in the points race. With experience will come a little more defensive responsibility. For now, the coaching staff is pleased with his offensive contributions.

Kirk Maltby L (50, 11-12-23, +9)
I've busted on Malts more than once in this space, but the cold truth is he has been putting up some respectable numbers this year. A plus-9 is impressive for almost any forward, and 23 points is an above-average output for this Grind Liner. Time will tell if he can continue his success past the All-Star break and into the playoffs.

Brendan Shanahan L (46, 16-21-37, -3)
Another fairly typical season for Brendan Shanahan. Seven power-play goals, three game-winners, no really long goal-scoring droughts. The model of offensive consistency.

Jason Woolley D (45, 4-13-17, +6)
Excellent pickup from the now-bankrupt Buffalo Bettmans. Gives the Wings a second legitimate offensive defenseman (behind Lidstrom). Eagerly jumps into the play on the offensive end. Knows what to do with the puck when he gets it.

Kris Draper R (50, 7-15-22, +3)
Another Grind Liner having an above-average season so far. Draper has played in every game, and has even netted some timely goals along the way. Coaches know they will get a hard-nosed effort on every shift from Draper. Offensive contributions an added bonus.

Tomas Holmstrom L (46, 11-7-18, +5)
Speaking of hard-nosed efforts, Holmstrom has made his living absorbing abuse at the top of the opposing goaltenders' creases. Has deflected his fair share of goals by screened and flustered goalies again this year. Homer has also rededicated himself to a stronger defensive game; his plus-5 rating is testament to his commitment.

The Loises
Clearly the hottest, smartest and most competent member of the family, Lois Griffin is a sultry siren who loves her husband, kids and dog (not in that way). And since she used to date Gene Simmons, we know she's not afraid of freakishly long tongues. The five top performers at the 50-game mark for Detroit are...

Manny Legace G (14, 8-3-2, 1.93, .935)
Continues to pile up the W's with each start. Detroit always seems to rally behind Manny and give him goal support, as well. If all backup goaltenders posted numbers like Legace's, quite a few starting netminders would be looking over their shoulders more often. Legace appears ready for the day when Detroit management stops blowing money on "big name" goalies and decides to give Manny his due.

Sergei Fedorov C (50, 20-24-44, +4)
Began the season by absolutely carrying the load and filling the void left by Steve Yzerman's absence in the lineup. Led the team through his actions. Single-handedly won games on his own during the first third of the season. Sergei even became the all-time leader in regular season overtime goals scored. His production has dropped off a little bit this month, but then again, so has the rest of the team's production. Needs to resolve his whole "who wants to be an agent for a millionaire?" issue, so he can return to distraction-free hockey.

Steve Yzerman C (0, 0-0-0, 0)
Has not played one second of hockey for the Red Wings this year but is responding remarkably well to the knee realignment surgery he had over the summer. Obviously, the Heart and Soul of this team. Stevie Y has been practicing with the club for the past few weeks. Spirits (and hopefully effort and wins) will soar as soon as Yzerman laces 'em up for his first game back. He wants to get a couple of good months under his belt before the playoffs, but we will need to wait and see how it all comes to pass.

Nicklas Lidstrom D (50, 12-26-38, +20)
Most dependable defenseman in the game today. Third in the league in scoring for defensemen. A plus-20 rating. Has played every game. Lidstrom continues to be the total package. Seemingly never makes a mistake. Great mentor for rookie partner Dmitri Bykov. Makes the team stronger every time he steps on the ice. A strong final 30 games for Detroit should solidify another Norris trophy for Lidstrom's display case.

Brett Hull R (50, 20-19-39, +3)
Has also played every game. Hottest Red Wing scorer right now (though, has been stuck on 699 career goals for a couple of games now). Wickedest one-time slap shot in the game (maybe ever). Hull's shot seems to get faster and more accurate as time goes on. Tied for the team lead in goals with Fedorov. Leads the team in power-play goals with nine. Anchoring the best line Detroit has to offer right now: Hull, Datsyuk and Zetterberg. Even kills penalties. What else could you want? A penchant for always running his mouth around the media? You got it.

You've been a wonderful audience
So that about wraps up this year's Detroit Red Wings Griffin Awards. I hope you enjoyed the show. The official after-show party will be held in Quagmire's rumpus room. Brown bags for the men; clothing optional for the ladies.

A look ahead
The much-needed All-Star break kicks in Thursday night for the Wings. The inconsistent start to the 2003 calendar year still has not hurt Detroit in the standings; they continue to lead St Louis by one point. That home-and-home series against Colorado will be a good test for both teams.

1/28 at New Jersey (29-12-3-4)
1/30 vs Florida (15-18-9-8)
2/4 vs Nashville (16-21-8-4)
2/6 vs Colorado (19-14-10-5)
2/8 at Colorado (19-14-10-5)