LCS Hockey - Stan Wendt Is Really Smart

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Stan Wendt Is Really Smart
by Michael Dell, editor-in-chief

A few days after the 1997-98 LCS Hockey Season Preview issue came out, a gentleman by the name of Stan Wendt wrote to me and took offense to our preview of the Boston Bruins. It seems we picked the Bears to finish dead last in the Northeast Division. Stan was not amused. In fact, Mr. Wendt proclaimed that the Bruins would make the playoffs. That was a bold statement.

A wager was soon made. If Boston missed the playoffs, Mr. Wendt would have to admit we were right. And if the Bruins made the playoffs, I'd have to write an article praising his prognosticating abilities.

Well, the season has ended and the Bruins have indeed made the postseason, securing the fifth spot in the Eastern Conference. Damn.

So, without further delay, here goes...

Stan Wendt is a really smart guy. He's got all the vision and the rest of the world is wearin' bifocals. Compared to him I am little more than a potted plant... a really stupid potted plant. If I live to be 100 years old I can only hope to one day gain the foresight and wisdom of Mr. Wendt. I would now like to honor him as only I can. Yes, that's right... through Haiku.

Stan is really smart
I'm a moron next to Stan
Have you seen my pants?

Anyway, congratulations, Stan, you did Bruin fans everywhere proud.

Before I go, the bet with Stan got me to thinking about some other LCS predictions that failed to come true. Such as...

1. An advanced race of space goats would come to Earth and enslave all its inhabitants. Except, of course, for the Earth goats, who would be given positions of power.

2. My book of Haikus, entitled "Haikus? I Got Your Haikus Right Here", would be profiled as an Oprah Book Club selection. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed on this one...

3. Al Morganti would lead a bloody revolt against the suits at ESPN and enslave all the employees. Except, of course, for the Earth goats, who would be given positions of power.

I guess sometimes silence can be golden.