Search for Badaboum Stalled

Search for Badaboum Stalled
By Michael Dell, editor-in-chief

It has been nearly a month since we started our search for Badaboum, the former mascot of the Quebec Nordiques. The four weeks since we first made our impassioned plea for help have brought few leads and even fewer results. It would seem that our big blue hero has simply fallen from the face of the Earth. That isn't possible... is it? With nothing else to investigate, I looked deeper into the idea.
"No, it would really be impossible for Badaboum, or really anyone for that matter, to fall off the face of the Earth," explained Mr. Fishbeck, my tenth-grade Science teacher. "Gravity pretty much prohibits it."
In light of this rather startling piece of information, I think it only appropriate at this time to thank gravity for all the good work it does, including keeping Badaboum on the face of the Earth. Thank you, gravity.
Bolstered by the knowledge that Badaboum is not drifting helpless somewhere in outer space, I continued the search. With every tip submitted to us having been proven false, I had no where else to turn except to try and speak with another one of Badaboum's former peers, Harvey the Hound.
Harvey has been entertaining the people of Alberta as the official mascot of the Calgary Flames for many years now, and was around when Badaboum dominated the mascot landscape like a colossus. He seemed like a logical mascot to contact.
Unfortunately, getting in touch with Harvey isn't as easy as it seems. After several failed attempts to reach the hound himself through email, phone, or fax, I was finally able to get in touch with one of Harvey's "people."
While not wanting to talk to me directly about Badaboum, Harvey did release this written statement:

Harvey the Jealous?

"I regret that Badaboum is missing. I have no knowledge of his current whereabouts. However, if you ever do find him, please give him this message: I hope you die and burn in hell, you big blue bastard. Everyone knows I'm the one and true NHL mascot. You were never any good. I was always the mascot king. Die, Badaboum, die. Die like the freak you are. Die alone and with festering boils. But most importantly, just die. Die, die, die, die, you bastard, die.
Best wishes,
Harvey the Hound
p.s. I hate you. "
Needless to say, I was quite disturbed. I had no idea Harvey was the jealous type. No matter, in the grand scheme it was just another dead end.
Surprisingly, the majority of Badaboum sightings have taken place in the United States. Perhaps Badaboum was looking to get away from his homeland in order to find inner peace and put the painful memories of the Nordiques departure from Quebec behind him.

Badaboum Sightings Map

The LCS Badaboum Sightings Map clearly shows that the Pacific Northwest is the epicenter of activity. Also notice the two spottings in Florida. Could Badaboum simply be retired and taking it easy? It was also peculiar to hear word of a sighting in Delaware. What the hell's in Delaware?
While things haven't exactly been progressing the way we had hoped, LCS vows to continue our search until Badaboum is found. That's why we must ask you, our valued readers, to help. Please, if you have any clues to the whereabouts of Badaboum, email us immediately at sportif@oak.westol.com. If we ever hope to find him, we need your help.
Do it for yourself. Do it for your country. But most importantly, do it for Badaboum.
Thank you.