LCS Hockey - Changing Rules

Changing Rules
by Michael Dell, editor-in-chief

Last season the NHL was, shall we say, "uneventful"? Shall we say "boring as hell"? We shall say boring as hell.

In hopes of improving its product, the league will be implementing several new rule changes for the 1998-99 season. The purpose behind most of the alterations is to increase scoring. More scoring means more excitement. More excitement means happy fans. Happy fans mean more money. And money is what makes the world go round... well, that plus those elves in the center of the Earth that turn the crank. But there's not much the league can do to make those little bastards work harder.

GOAL LINE MOVED
The goal line will be moved to 13 feet from the endboards, creating two additional feet of space behind the net than in past years. The extra two feet from each end will be taken from the neutral zone, reducing it to 54 feet in length. Each end zone will now be 73 feet long, with the distance between the goal line and blue line remaining at 60 feet.

Of all the new rules, this one should have the biggest effect. The main reason for the change is to make it more difficult for goaltenders to play the puck behind the net. This should result in better forechecks for the offense, since the likes of Tom Barrasso and Martin Brodeur will have to think twice before venturing out of the crease to cut the puck along the backboards. But there is some concern that the two extra feet will result in Dominik Hasek getting lost, so the league will provide the Dominator with a bag of bread crumbs before each and every game.

Another motive behind the move was to give forwards extra room behind the cage to create plays. While it's a nice idea and all, it really will be more of a detriment to playmakers than anything else. Guys like Wayne Gretzky work behind the net in order to use the goal as a pick to get separation from defenders. The two extra feet will make it easier for defensemen to slip around the cage and pressure the puck. That's not a good thing. And if you were talented enough to make plays behind the net to begin with, chances are you're not going to need two extra feet.

While the game's craftiest passers won't be able to use the net as a blocker anymore, neither will defensemen looking to carry the puck behind the cage to buy time. This goes back to that whole improving-the-forecheck thing. The extra ice will allow forwards to sweep behind the cage without breaking stride or fearing a collision with the twine. Defensemen are going to have to move the puck in a hurry. This could lead to plenty of turnovers. And if your team has either Phil Housley or Dmitri Mironov on its roster, it could lead to more turnovers than a Mayberry church bake sale. Enjoy.

GOAL CREASE CLIPPED
After two years of merciless criticism from smart people, the NHL will finally do something to address the punk-ass goal crease rule. While the rule won't be erased from the books entirely, the crease itself will change shape. It will no longer be the mammoth blue semicircle of despair. Instead, it will now look more like half a Black Beauty... er, I mean vitamin pill.

To quote the league: "The sides of the crease will be defined by straight lines four feet in length that run perpendicular to the goal line, one foot outside each goal post, and intersect with the arc that forms the top of the crease."

In English, they pretty much just cut off the triangular-looking corners on either side of the crease. This means that guys standing completely out of the play don't have to worry about having a goal disallowed simply because they had their toes in the paint. How 'bout that for progress?

NO MORE ACTING ON ICING
Goaltenders will no longer be allowed to feign playing the puck on icings in an attempt to confuse and bewilder the opposition. As soon as a netminder makes a move to go play the puck, the linesmen will wave the ice and play will continue.

GOALTENDING EQUIPMENT LIMITED
New restrictions have been placed on goaltender equipment. Here are the basics:

* No raised ridges are allowed on the front edges or sides of the chest, on the inside or the outside of arms, or across the top of the shoulders. So this means Garth Snow will give up about three more goals a game.

* Circus tents may no longer be used as jerseys. A goalie's sweater cannot exceed 32 inches in length, and it cannot cover any area between the legs. The other measurements must not exceed the following parameters: from hip to hip - 30 inches; from armpit to armpit - 29 inches; from armpit to shoulder - 14 inches; width at elbow - 14 inches; cuff - 9 inches. If you cannot afford a tailor, one will be appointed by the court.

* No extra pads will be permitted to be sewn on the inside or the outside of the pants for any other reason than to provide protection. The maximum width of the thigh pad cannot exceed 11 inches. This measurement includes any groin or hip pads that extend beyond the front thigh pad. Only 11 inches of protection per customer, please.

* The maximum perimeter of catching gloves is now limited to 50 inches. All gloves must also have a cuff of at least four-and-a- half inches. However, the decision on whether or not to wear cuff links is still left to the player.

LINE CHANGE PROTOCOL
If someone hops over the boards too early on a line change the result will be a stoppage of play and a faceoff at center ice. This will prohibit fresh skaters from jumping off the bench to join the flow while tired guys are still dragging themselves to the bench behind the play.

TWICE AS MANY BLOWN CALLS
From October 16, 1998 to February 28, 1999, a two-referee/two- linesmen system will be phased into effect. Each team will play 20 games (10 at home, 10 on the road) with two officials.

It's important to note the term "phased into effect." This is not just an experiment. The league seems serious about making the switch to two referees. In fact, if there aren't too many complaints, there could be two refs working the postseason. That's enough to make coaches everywhere reach for the... vitamin pills.

POWER TO THE VIDEO GOAL JUDGE
The video goal judge is now permitted to call down to the referee to advise that a player was in the crease after a goal is scored. In the past, only the referee was able to request a replay. The video dude will also be allowed to phone the referee to update him on the happenings of particularly hot episodes of "Melrose Place" or to alert him when that new Hole video comes on MTV.

HARDCORE DISCIPLINE
Since Brian Burke is no longer around to screw things up, the league is promising to hand out more serious suspensions when stuff gets ugly. Colin Campbell is now the man in charge of laying the smack down. He doesn't exactly have a tough act to follow, tho'. A bag of rocks would be an improvement on Burke, who would have given Charles Manson two games.

To once again quote the league: "There also will be a stricter standard for suspensions on any action deemed deliberate by a player with his elbow or stick that is directed to the head of an opponent or results in an injury to the head of an opponent. Further, acts which are deemed intended to injure an opponent, whether or not a severe injury results, will be scrutinized strictly and treated severely."

The above statement could be called the Paul Kariya Rule. The NHL wants to do whatever it can to eliminate concussions. Harsher penalties for shots to the head are a good, if not obvious, start. And so far the league is living up to the hype, slapping Ruslan Salei with a five-game suspension for rubbing out Daniel Briere in the preseason.

In other suspension news, a player who comes on the ice from a line change and immediately starts an altercation will be subject to supplementary discipline. So, please, hold all vendettas until the end of your shift. Thank you.

ENFORCE THIS
The league is going on record as stating that rules regarding diving and closing your hand on the puck will be strictly enforced. Ooh, you've been warned! As per usual, this probably means they'll call 'em tight for the first few weeks and then forget about 'em as the year progresses. Tradition is a beautiful thing.

Well, that's everything. Will it be enough to salvage the sport from the impending doom of expansion? Doubtful. But at least the NHL is trying to help itself. It's always so sad to just watch a drowning man sink. While these rule changes may seem little more than the frantic flailing of a desperate soul, the least we can do is stand on the shore and applaud the effort.