Section I: So You're in a Hockey Pool.

Being in a Hockey Pool is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it is a common and treatable condition that afflicts young and old alike during the fall, winter, and early spring months. So as you face these trying times, please remember that you are not alone! Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery!

Many individuals initially express fear and anxiety upon learning of their condition, but within a few weeks these feelings gradually subside and are replaced by optimism, and an apple cider induced "warm, fuzzy feeling". In other cases, feelings of mind-numbing euphoria, depression, and even deep-seated self-pity have been reported.

While being in a Hockey Pool is not easy, also remember it is a manageable condition. With a proper diet and exercise regime, many individuals in Hockey Pools have gone on to lead healthy, productive and rewarding lives!

Section II: Coping with Your Hockey Pool.

Do not think of your being in a Hockey Pool as a problem, but rather as a unique opportunity! And in order to make the most of your opportunity, there are 14 steps you can easily take to ensure success.

1. Find People Living in the Past - Get in a hockey pool with people who haven't paid attention to hockey since 1991. While they're drafting Kirk Muller and Mark Tinordi, you'll be scorin' Peter Forsberg and Kenny Jonsson. Give it a try, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
2. Draft High - Just because you don't draft high, doesn't mean YOU don't have to be. Ladders can take you places you've never been.
3. Draft Best Player Available - Don't just take a high-scoring forward in the first round because you feel some kind of nagging compulsion to do so. Make sure you take the best player. Once Kariya, Selanne and Jagr are gone, you might as well take a top goaltender like Brodeur or a premier defenseman like Lidstrom or Ozolinsh. You'll be glad you did.
4. Draft Cutest Player Available - Hey ladies, we all know winning isn't worth a damn if ya don't look good. So why not throw caution to the wind and draft that hunk-a-burnin-love between the pipes. Felix Potvin is soooooo dreamy. And that Mike Modano got it in all the right places, I hear.
5. Be Well-Rounded - All thru school, it was stressed time and time again that you should strive to become a "well-rounded" individual. Being well-rounded would garner the respect of your peers, they said. Of course, no one bought into such gibberish. We all knew it meant being called a dork and being given 'atomic wedgies' in gym class. So now why I am telling you to be well-rounded? Well, I don't know. Just make sure you have enough starters in your lineup before taking backups. I mean don't go nutty and draft six defensemen in a row if you haven't picked any forwards yet, is all I'm sayin'. Just remember, having an offense led by Randy McKay is not something to be proud of.
6. Think with Your Head, Not Your Heart - Emotion has no part in the Hockey Pool. Don't let your thought process be compromised because you feel compelled to pick your favorite player. Wendel Clark is cool and all, I'll admit. But SNAP OUT OF IT, LAD! Consider the Hockey Pool a war. If you blindly go back to rescue a fallen comrade, you will more than likely be cut down in a hail of machine gun fire. Sure it's noble and all, but at that point you'll be of no use to anyone.
7. Hoard Goaltenders - Load up on starting goaltenders. Injuries will decimate teams and if you have three solid goalies you will have the edge at the bargaining table. Also, there are precious few big name goalies who have a quality team in front of them. Hasek, Roy, Brodeur, Vanbiesbrouck and Belfour pretty much make up such a list.
8. Get Defensemen Early - In today's NHL there aren't many forwards and even fewer defensemen who will put up the huge offensive numbers coveted in the Hockey Pool. Get at least two or three solid defensemen early in the draft so that you don't get stuck with Jeff Norton and David Wilkie.
9. Lock a Left Wing - If you are required to draft by position in your Hockey Pool, take care to focus on the left wing position from the start. LeClair, Kariya, Tkachuk and Shanahan are the only sure picks. Left wing is not the deepest position in hockey.
10. Second-Year Players - A lot of guides will tell you avoid second-year players because they may experience a "sophomore slump". But I say go for it. Sure second-year guys may be more prone to a let down, but often the upside is worth the risk. Passing up on Sergei Samsonov or Alexei Morozov would just be silly... especially if they are availble late.
11. Think for Yourself - Don't get caught up in patterns. If the five people before you draft forwards, look for a goalie or defenseman. Chances are you'll get a better player. There's no need to take the 12th best forward when the 6th best goalie is still available.
12. Screw Your Friends - You might like your friends a whole bunch, but in a Hockey Pool all bets are off. Does a stranded bud need a ride? Does an under-aged aquaintance need help scorin' some smokes and a six-pack for the weekend? If so, Lady Luck has definitely looked your way, my friend. Now is the time to deal. With a little practice and some smooth talk, you too will be able to grab Peter Bondra for Miroslav Satan.
13. The Age Factor - As players age, their skills decline and they become more injury prone. Hence, older stars like Tocchet, Clark, and Andreychuck have seen better days. Choosing such players offers little in upside potential. Gretzky, Messier, Coffey, Bourque, etc. are still viable picks, but, as with so many things in life, moderation is the key.
14. Be Like Bill - A little white lie never hurt anyone, so telling others that Theo Fleury quit hockey to become a country music star can only help to further your cause. Other good ploys are to exclaim "I heard that so and so is refusing to play until he gets a new contract" or "I heard Player X is being traded to Nashville". Being resourceful is no crime.
15. Live on the Edge - Got a few picks left in the 16th round? Hell, why not take a chance on a youngster like New Jersey's Brendan Morrison who might break through? It will be a much more memorable experience than watching Sandy Moger claw his way to get you 20-some points.

Section III: Who Do I Turn to for Help?

The good news is that there is a large group of dedicated, talented professionals who will be more than happy to assist you in your time of need. Below is a partial listing of top ten performers in your area.

1. Jaromir Jagr, PIT - Captured his 2nd Art Ross Trophy (1st in 1994-95) and was the only player to break 100 points last season, bagging 102. Answered the critics who doubted he could continue to produce without Mario Lemieux, now it is to be seen if he can overcome the loss of longtime linemate Ron Francis. It's a good thing Jagr is the best one-on-one player in the NHL, because he won't be getting much help from his team.
2. Teemu Selanne, ANA - Selanne had 52 goals last season... and Paul Kariya was knocked silly for most of the time. Just imagine what kind of totals he can put up if Kariya can play a full year. Unlike other speedy high-scoring wingers (ie: Bure, Mogilny), Selanne is a complete player and also very consistent. His 143 goals and 303 points over the last three seasons can attest to that. Another thing that makes Selanne great is that to him the money ain't a thing. While other players demanded to rework contracts to match their inflated egos, Selanne honored the less-than-substantial deal he signed with the Ducks.
3. Eric Lindros, PHI - Lindros has been told that if he wants to be paid like the best player in the league then he better start posting the numbers. With an incentive-laden $50-million deal on the table, look for the Wobbly One to improve on the 71 points he collected this year. Lindros and the Legion were streaky all year... one game they'd dominate, the next game they were non-factors. Lindros needs to be focused and healthy for 82 games to prove he's worth the money.
4. Paul Kariya, ANA - Only played 22 games before a concussion ended his season, but he averaged 1.41 points per game when he could go. A full season with Selanne and Kariya could win the Art Ross... unless Gary Suter has something to say about it.
5. Martin Brodeur, NJD - 10 shutouts each of the past two seasons and a 1.89 goals-against average. Has all technical aspects of goaltending mastered... no need for flopping around here. A sure thing if ever there was one.
6. Eddie Belfour, DAL - Playing behind the Dallas defense, he only faced 1335 shots in 61 games (21.8 SPG). Had nine shutouts and a league-leading 1.88 goals-against average. Won 37 games last year and should win 40+ this year now that Brett Hull is in the lineup. An extremely talented goalie who plays behind one of the better teams in the league.
7. Dominik Hasek, BUF - World class talent. An adventure on ice. Led NHL in save percentage for fifth straight year (0.932). Led league with 13 shutouts. Faced more shots than any goalie, 2149, but still had 4th lowest GAA at 2.09. If nothing else, he will entertain.
8. Nicklas Lidstrom, DET - Led all defensemen with 59 points and was a +22. Averaged over 27 minutes of ice time per game. Should exceed 60 points this year.
9. Sandis Ozolinsh, COL - If injuries hadn't limited him to 66 games, Ozolinsh would have been chasing Lidstrom for the highest-scoring defenseman of the year. His 0.77 PPG was second best among backliners. Should eclipse 70 points.
10. John LeClair, PHI - Has scored 50+ goals in each of the last three seasons...the first American player to do so. Next season he will make it four consecutive years with no problems. Tough, physical player who won't take stupid penalties. Played in all 82 games for third straight year; good for 50+ goals, 90+ points.

Section IV: Is There Anything I Should Watch Out For?

Yes. There are often many symptoms that will remain dormant for years before emerging to wreak havoc on an unsuspecting host. They should be watched carefully.

• Brett Hull, DAL - Hull's 27 goals last year may make some people wonder if the Golden Brett is rusting, but teaming with Mike Modano in Dallas will make him shine again. Hull should regain 40-goal form.
• John Vanbiesbrouck, PHI - Three seasons ago he led the Panthers to the Stanley Cup Finals. This should be the year he returns. Philly finally has the goalie they need to win it all, and Vanbiesbrouck won't let that chance pass him by.
• Paul Coffey, CHI - If the Doctor gets to write his own prescriptions he'll be flying high indeed. Only 29 points last season, but only got limited time in Philly. Three years ago he had 74 points. Won't see that neighborhood again, but might be down the block.
• Josef Marha, ANA - Had 11 points in 12 games with Anaheim last season. Could play center between Selanne and Kariya. Hmmmm.
• Sami Kapanen, CAR - Had a breakout season with 26 goals and 63 points. Numbers will improve with Ron Francis as new center. Speedy quick.
• Sergei Samsonov, BOS - Unproven, but a very explosive and exciting player. Had 22 goals and 47 points to win the Calder trophy. Averaged 0.34 points per game over first half of season. Second half of season average: 0.81. Happy days are back in Beantown.

Section V: Questions?

You can never be 100% sure, but knowing is half the battle. Yo Joe.

• Gary Roberts, CAR - Held together for 61 games last season and managed 21 goals. Carolina will be a much improved team this year. Still a chance for 40?
• Pavel Bure, VAN - The Russian Rocket has blasted off again, but who knows when he'll crash back to Earth. Did he just score 51 goals and 90 points to guarantee himself a pricey contract or does he plan on keeping with the program? Who knows? Complains as much as that little brat from the Home Alone flicks.
• Alexander Mogilny, VAN - Even more flighty than Bure, you never know what to expect out of him. Could net 60, could bag 20. It seems that either Mogilny or Bure has a big year. They take turns or something. If Bure and Mogilny would ever coordinate their attack, Vancouver would have an amazing team.
• Joe Nieuwendyk, DAL - Major surgery on both knees will make a repeat of his 39-goal season very difficult. May miss one to two months early in the year.
• Doug Gilmour, CHI - $6 million dollars a year for Gilmour? At 35, Doug ain't the sparkplug he once was. Don't get me wrong, he's still a good player, but $6 million a year? Come on now, that's just silly. Centering Tony Amonte will raise the assist totals, but those numbers won't be high enough to undo the damage this contract has done to the salary structure of the NHL.

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