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Since this is the LCS Hockey Season in Review Issue, we thought it would be wise to generate a list of the top 10 moments in hockey that happened during the past season.

Unfortunately, we hit the gallon jugs of Night Train pretty hard this year so some of the details could be a little sketchy. We were drunk off our ass for a reason, tho'. The 1997-98 NHL season blew. Plain and simple.

So without further ado, I hold in my right hand tonight's top 10 list. Anton, drum roll please...

No. 10: The U.S. Women's Ice Hockey Team Wins Gold in Nagano

Led by Cammi Granato, Team USA defeated Team Canada for gold in the first-ever medal event for women's ice hockey in the Olympics, which was held in Nagano, Japan.

The U.S. and Canadian teams have been (sometimes bitter) enemies during the past few years. The two squads met 15 times in international play this year alone, with the United States taking an 8-7 edge.

The gold medal game finished with a 3-1 Team USA win, but the best contest of the tournament came two days earlier when the teams squared off in the final match of round-robin action. Both teams had already clinched spots in the gold medal game, but tempers were hot and some of the hits were nasty in this affair. Some trash talking even went on between the two teams, causing Canadian coach Shannon Miller to pull Granato aside after the game to make sure she knew exactly what was said about a Canadian player and her family.

The Canadians took what looked like a guaranteed 4-1 lead into the third period, but the Americans exploded for six unanswered goals in the final frame to win, 7-4, and give them a ton of momentum going into the gold medal game.

The win by Team USA eased some of the pain caused by the disappointing showing by the men's Olympic team (see later in article). It also generated a lot of publicity for women's hockey in the United States. More and more programs are being developed for girls and women throughout the country, and this only increased the hockey boom.

No. 9: Sweden Kicks Finnish Ass at World Championships

Sure, this didn't have the same importance as the Olympics, but since the Swedes love LCS Hockey and LCS Hockey loves the Swedes, we had to include this on our list.

The Finns crushed the dreams of all Swedish hockey fans when Team Finland beat Team Sweden in the opening round of the Olympics. Damn Finns...

But in an amazing show of resilience and vigor, the Swedes were able to pull themselves together and take back the pride of Scandinavia by defeating the Finns at the World Ice Hockey Championships. That's right, Sweden. Put those Communist Finns in their place.

Sweden defeated Finland in that chocolate clock-making country called Switzerland. The Swedes prevailed 1-0 in the first game of the series, then tied Finland 0-0 in the second to take home the title. Because the finals were on total goals scored, no winner needed to be decided in the second game. Sweden scored more goals, so they get the trophy. Finland gets a year's supply of Turtle Wax.

Sweden was led in the tournament by such NHL stars as Mats Sundin, Peter Forsberg and Mikael Renberg. Finland had Sami Kapanen and...well, some guy named Raimo Helminen. Yeah, that's right, Anders Nordenswan, some guy named Raimo Helminen.

No. 8: Norway Dominates Switzerland

While we're playing with the international hockey flavor, let's not forget the battles that Norway and Switzerland had during the LCS Hockey intra-staff Sega Hockey League.

Norway was led by Michael Dell, Matthew Secosky, and yours truly. Team Switzerland staggered along under the drunken leadership of Zippy and a bunch of other scrubs...I mean LCS associates.

In the battle of seven-game series, Norway won the first six series in a row before those clock-makin', chocolate lovin' Swiss managed to actually defeat the Norwegians, 4-1, to take the seventh series. But don't worry, after that loss Norway vowed to never lose another series to the Swiss again, and ladies and gentleman, they haven't. Norway is now leading the all-time series 8-1 and is currently enjoying a three-games-to-two lead in the tenth series.

Zippy couldn't be reached for comment, so we made up the following quote.

"We suck," admitted Zippy from his corporate weasel-like office in downtown Pittsburgh. "I would just like to thank the people of Switzerland who have been patient with us during our disappointing season. If we were playing in the World Cup, the entire team would have been tortured and shot to death by now. Norway is just a far-superior country. That's all there is to it. Our guts are too fat because we eat so much rich, dark chocolate. Long live Norway."

By the way, have I mentioned how bad the NHL was this season?

No. 7: Stars Can't Shine From a Hospital Bed...

Here's the scenario. The NHL has very few stars anymore. So what happens? The league loses several of them to severe injuries, making even some of the better NHL games of the year terrible.

Paul Kariya was out of the league for a good portion of the start of the season due to a contract holdout. He missed the last part of the season due to a concussion suffered when Chicago's Gary Suter cross-checked him in the jaw after Kariya scored a goal.

Kariya's teammate, Teemu Selanne, was a target late in the season with Kariya out of the lineup. Selanne, one of the nicest players in the game today, nearly was decapitated several times this year thanks to elbows, forearms and sticks flying at his head from all directions.

Luckily for Selanne and the league, he was never seriously hurt.

Eric Lindros wasn't so lucky. The Flyer captain is supposed to take over the league someday from Wayne Gretzky. It will be hard for him to do if he never plays a full season.

Lindros was crunched by a clean, open-ice hit by Darius Kasparaitis during a game at the Civic Arena that knocked Lindros loopy for close to 20 games. Kasparaitis stepped up on Lindros while he looked down at his skates trying to find the puck. The Penguins defenseman's shoulder connected with Lindros's head, and down went the big guy in a heap on the ice.

Lindros's concussion reminded many of the concussions suffered by Pat LaFontaine. LaFontaine, who was at one point in his career one of the top four players in the league, was making a comeback this season with the New York Rangers.

LaFontaine is a product of the abuse dished out to the league's star players over the years without repercussions from the NHL. Laffy, who is on the small side, took years of grief, suffered numerous concussions and has had major health problems. Both LaFontaine and the league are paying for it now.

The list of injured star players can go on and on. Joe Sakic, Peter Forsberg, Steve Yzerman, Mike Modano, Saku Koivu, Daniel Alfredsson...name a star and he was probably injured during the season.

That's not good for marketing the game, and it's not good for the players. If the stars are going to last, they have to be treated right. I'm not saying protect them, but make sure you call penalties when they're necessary. Let people know that they won't be able to get away with a mob-type hit on a star player.

As a matter of fact, let's get rid of the cheap hits on every player. It's not a necessary part of the game. Oh yeah, it also hurts.

No. 6: Keenan and His Fan Club Returns to League

If the NHL wants excitement, it needs to look no further than Mike Keenan.

Is the league in need of a swift kick in the you-know-what? Tell someone to hire Keenan and watch the fun begin.

Keenan returned from exile this past season, replacing Tom Renney as head coach of the Vancouver Canucks. No sooner than he got there, the players were already flying out the door.

Keenan traded away fan favorites Kirk McLean, Martin Gelinas, Gino Odjick and even long-time team captain Trevor Linden. No one is safe when Keenan comes calling.

For all of his moves, Keenan didn't fair all that well in his first season in Vancouver. The team failed to make the playoffs and actually finished close to the very bottom of the league standings.

But that didn't matter to Kenny Bloom, who is still president of the Mike Keenan Fan Club.

Kenny wasn't available to do a full interview after the season - he's knitting a new sweater with a needlepoint mug shot of Keenan on it for his dog, Lightning. But he sent us this brief statement that he wanted to share with you. Ahem...

"Hi. My name is Kenny. I'm president of the Mike Keenan Fan Club. Mike Keenan is my hero. If anyone would like to join my fan club, please stop by the Tasty Freeze and ask for Kenny. They'll know who you mean. Our fan club is growing in membership all the time, so join soon!"

Don't say you haven't been warned...

No. 5: I'll Put My Skate in Your Crease!

The in-the-crease rule really put a hurtin' on the league this season. It was ridiculed. It was laughed at. It was dismissed as a joke. And that was just what the players thought. The public was a little more vocal in their hatred for it. Believe it or not, some of the reactions to it were even more heated than the reaction people had toward the FOX glow puck.

By the way, the glow puck still blows.

LCS Hockey is always thinking of you, our valued readers. So we took a quick survey to see what people thought about the in-the-crease rule that was widely debated in the NHL this past season. Then we thought, "Hell, you know what? We never cared what other people had to say in the past, so why start now?"

Here's our take on the in-the-crease rule: IT BLOWS.

No. 4: Detroit Wins Second Cup for Fallen Comrades

Just six days after the Detroit Red Wings won the Stanley Cup in 1997, Vladimir Konstantinov and Sergei Mnatsakanov were severely injured in a limo accident and might never be able to walk again. So in their honor, the Wings dedicated the 1997-98 season to them.

The season culminated in another Stanley Cup celebration. And this time, Konstantinov and the rest of the Red Wings were able to celebrate without a dark cloud looming over their heads.

In a show of undoubted togetherness, as soon as Steve Yzerman accepted the Stanley Cup from Gary Bettman after sweeping the finals for the second straight year, he gave it to Konstantinov. With Igor Larionov, Sergei Fedorov and Yzerman pushing, Konstantinov glided across the ice in his wheelchair with Cup in tow. It was a Stanley Cup moment that no one who saw it will ever forget.

Kudos to the Wings for sharing their emotions and joy with the rest of the world.

No. 3: Offense? What? Where?

Just one player (Jaromir Jagr) scored more than 100 points this season.

That's sad.

That's really sad.

Remember the days when Mario Lemieux would score close to 170 points in 60 games? When Pat LaFontaine was close behind with 146 or so? Those were the good days of the NHL.

The watered down crap we're forced to pay big bucks for now is a joke. This isn't the NHL, this is the IHL2. And with expansion, things are only going to get worse, not better. And let's forget about Nashville for a moment. Who is going to stock the expansion teams joining the league in 1999 and 2000? With a little training, the staff of LCS Hockey might be able to join a team by then.

Back in the day, every team had at least one star player. Now, we're lucky to see greatness on one out of every three teams. By the year 2000, it will be one out of every five. But by then, it won't matter because an advanced race of space goats will take over the planet, killing everything on Earth, except the earth goats, who will be put in positions of power.

No. 2: Hasek Makes Most of Olympic Debacle

The 1998 Olympics marked the first time that NHL players could compete in the Games. Unfortunately for many of the teams who made the long journey to Japan, the Games were memorable for all the wrong reasons.

Team USA, which was almost an exact replica of the team that won the World Cup in 1996, struggled mightily in the Olympics. All hopes of the United States taking over as the dominating hockey power in the world were crushed by a brutal effort that ended in scandal.

The uninspired play of most of Team USA during the games was so pitiful, only a major event could make people forget how bad they played. And sure enough, if the humiliation of exiting the Games before medal rounds were even talked about wasn't enough, the team was humiliated even more when one or several players trashed their dorm rooms at the Olympic village. The damage was estimated at $3,000. Fire extinguishers were set off and then thrown out a window, chairs were broken - childish events that should never have happened.

So the Americans exited the Olympics with nothing but a room bill to show for it. That meant Team Canada would take back the title of world's best, right?

Wrong.

Team Canada failed to medal, as well. That left the door wide open for The Dominator. The spotlight was on Dominik Hasek, and he showed the world why he's a back-to-back Hart and Vezina winner.

Hasek defeated the Canadians in a thrilling overtime shootout where he stopped the likes of Eric Lindros and Brendan Shanahan. He defeated a surging Russian squad in the gold medal game. Dominik Hasek did it all.

Hasek was the best story to come out of the NHL's appearance in the Olympic Games. Other than his remarkable run, the NHL had a rough go of it in Nagano. Players were exhausted after playing half a season and then flying 20-some hours to Japan to play games. Some NHLers didn't even make it in time for their games. And when they did show up, no one in North America other than people with sleeping disorders saw them play. The games received little air time during prime viewing hours.

Even the NHL's worst fears came true. An NHL star was hurt. Joe Sakic injured his knee during a game against Kazakhstan, which caused him to miss several weeks of the regular season.

All in all, the Olympic Games were a bust for the NHL.

No. 1: Cullen Beats Cancer

Forget the NHL's problems. Forget the Olympic debacle. Just for a moment, forget that hockey exists and read the next four words very carefully:

Johnny Cullen beat cancer.

That's right, Johnny Cullen, LCS Hockey idol and hero of millions ages 8 to 80, battled cancer for more than an entire hockey season and won. After numerous chemotherapy treatments and a bone marrow transplant, Cullen has finally defeated lymphoma.

When Cullen first told the world that a softball-size tumor was found in his chest, everyone in the hockey community feared the worst. His hockey career would be done for certain. Everyone hoped that he would somehow find a way to beat the dreaded disease.

But this is Johnny Cullen we're talking about here. He's a scrapper. He's a fighter. He'll do what it takes to win. For a while, that meant chemotherapy treatments. When that didn't work, he needed to do a risky bone marrow transplant.

There were some close calls - like the time Cullen's heart stopped beating as he was being wheeled down a hospital corridor - but in the end, Cullen has won.

He received an OK from his doctors, and although he has to go back for check-ups every six months, Cullen claims to be cancer-free. He's even planning on playing hockey again next season. Right now he's training down in Florida and trying to get his skating legs back.

Johnny Cullen's struggles with cancer have been an amazing story during the past year. He should be commended for the way he's handled everything during that time. He's remained positive. He's remained optimistic. And he's been a role model to people throughout the world.

Johnny Cullen is a constant reminder to never give up hope, no matter how bad things look.

Perhaps all of us can learn a lesson from this. No matter what obstacles you're faced with in life, just believe in yourself and find a way to deal with your situation.

Did you here that Mr. Bettman? You, too, can learn from Johnny Cullen. Find a way to make the NHL work. The sport of hockey is the most exciting on Earth. Don't run it into the ground. Don't give up on teams in Canada. This sport can carry itself. It's been doing it for over 100 years, and it will keep doing it long after all of us are gone.

As for you, Johnny...congratulations on your victory over cancer. All of us at LCS Hockey can't wait to see you back on the ice again next season.

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