Dude, this sucks. It's one thing for the Americans to lose, I mean, who really cares? But how could Sweden lose! This is horrible. Aw, this is even worse than that time I tried to run away and join the cast of "Gimme a Break." That Nell Carter isn't as nice as she looks on TV...

While I try to collect myself, here's what happened in the quarterfinal games followed by a schedule for the semifinal round. Damn Finns.

Canada beat Kazakhstan, 4-1: Team Canada didn't exactly run it up. The men with Maple Leafs on their chests did just enough to beat the overmatched Kazakhstanians. Or is it Kazakhstanites? Anyway, Joey Nieuwendyk, Shayne Corson, Brendan Shanahan, and Steve Yzerman scored for Canada. Patrick Roy stopped 16 of 17 to post the win.

Russia beat Belarus, 4-1: Valeri Kamensky, Andrei Kovalenko, Pavel Bure, and Alexei Morozov scored for the Russians. Mikhail Shtalenkov got the win in net, turning aside 25 Belarussian shots. Or is it Belarussite?

Finland beat Sweden, 2-1: You have no idea how hard it was for me to just type that. The game was scoreless in the third before Teemu Selanne scored twice for the Finns. Or is it Finnites? Peter Forsberg had the lone Swedish goal, but it came with just 12 seconds left in regulation. Damn Finns.

SEMIFINAL SCHEDULE

The semifinal games will take place Friday, February 20. Or, for us North Americans, real late Thursday night.

Canada vs Czech Republic
The Czechs pulled off their upset of the tournament. They can go home now. Look for the Canadians to be much more physical than the Americans. Hasek is great, but Roy is king.

Russia vs Finland
This will be a rematch of a sensational round-robin matchup that saw the Russians pull out a come-from-behind 4-3 win. Both clubs are solid. Selanne may be the best player in the world at this very moment in time. The Russians have three gamebreakers of their own, tho', in Bure, Fedorov, and Kamensky. It could come down to goaltending. While neither Shtalenkov or Jarmo Myllys are in the same league as Hasek and Roy, they're pretty competent puckstoppers. But this will be the second time the Russians get to look at Jarmo Myllys, while Trefilov played the first meeting for Russia. That could give the Russians an edge.

But who really cares? The Swedes are out. Might as well douse the old Olympic flame now. It's over. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Damn Finns.

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