Hey, folks. Sorry I haven't written for a couple of weeks, but, well, I was stuck in the penalty box for obstruction. Apparently somebody at NHL headquarters heard that I was at one point somewhere near a player while holding a stick...anyway, if I complain too much, I can get suspended. So with this as the start of a well-developed rant, let's see who hooked, held, interfered, obstructed and dived, dived, dived this week.

SO...WHERE ARE THE GOALS?
Once again, the boneheads in charge have missed the forest for the trees. At first, a crackdown on interference and other obstruction infractions seemed like a real popular way to appease some of the so-called "skilled" players and silence their complaints about being mugged. But nobody bothered to do two things: assess the real problem or secure an agreement that the stars in question would treat this with all the respect the ruling is meant to inspire.

On the first point, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Stop expanding the league!!!! This is the National Hockey League, supposedly made up of the finest players in the world. There is only one reason we even have a distinction between "skill" players and those talentless thugs (who shall remain nameless) who have supposedly been depressing Brett Hull's stats. That reason is there are too many roster spots necessarily going to otherwise minor-league caliber players because there are too darn many teams out there.

The other point is what most of the more vocal critics of this policy have been pointing out, most notably Kings' coach Larry Robinson, himself a member of the Hall of Fame. At first, Robinson's complaints seemed like the thinly disguised tantrums of a kid who will no longer be allowed to cheat. But upon further inspection of games played by the Kings (as well as other teams), it's become pretty apparent that, well, guys are taking dives. No, really. The so-called noble elite, the Hulls and Bures and other "stars," and even the lesser players are figuring, if everything is getting called, they may as well help that trend along. As such, any time a stick or glove or even shoulder makes contact with a player not on a clear breakaway, he's taking a dive. What seems to have happened is that the NHL has forgotten to re-institute the no-diving rule while issuing their crackdown.

THE NEW MATH
So you're the Detroit Red Wings. And you've been one of the top five teams all season long. Someone decides to "steal" an asset you haven't used, and you have to double your payroll to keep that asset for yourself. Wait, there's more...if you don't keep said asset, you can have your choice of five first round picks (note, the Wings are getting a bit long in the tooth at their core) or a trade which can offset those picks. What do you do?

If you're totally boneheaded, you match the offer to, yep, Sergei Fedorov. I'm really struggling to figure this out. The Wings could have had him all season for the money they're giving him now for about four months' play. Why was he not worth it then? And if a part-time Fedorov is worth more than a full-season Fedorov...I don't know. I guess I didn't make my fortune selling pizza that tastes like cardboard. Sergei has been ragged on by his would-be teammates the whole season for being such a money-grubber, and Steve Yzerman continued this trend after the ridiculous deal was signed.

On what planet is Fedorov better than the rest of the team put together? How can his few months be worth more than everything they've done in his absence, when he wasn't even missed? And there is not much of a farm system in place to make up for the eventual retirement of Yzerman and potential early retirement of Niklas Lidstrom. Carolina needed Fedorov that much. Detroit doesn't need anything that much. And if Sergei Fedorov commands this kind of money, future contracts for Eric Lindros, Paul Kariya and Jaromir Jagr will be scary.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
The 1993 entry draft was considered one of the deepest talent pools in years. Somehow, though, that doesn't seem so true in retrospect. The top seven players chosen were each considered blue-chip prospects, but only two are still with the teams which drafted them: fourth overall pick Paul Kariya (how did he last until #4?) and fifth selection Rob Niedermayer, with the Mighty Ducks and Panthers, respectively. As for the others?

1.) Alexandre Daigle. A bitter disappointment in Ottawa, he was moved to Philadelphia this season, where the Flyers hoped a change of scenery and a deeper team will give him a much- needed boost. It hasn't. The Flyers are hoping to ship him off before the trade deadline on the 25th.

2.) Chris Pronger. Hey, if I had a chance to ship off a prospect who got into bar brawls for a 50-goal scorer who got into bar brawls, I'd do it, too. So Hartford traded Pronger to St. Louis for Brendan Shanahan. Interestingly, Shanny demanded a trade to Detroit, but Pronger has matured into the Blues' captain and gives faith that life will go on after Al MacInnis.

3.) Chris Gratton. Hey, he looked like he was going to make the Lightning a tough team to beat in just a few years. Instead, the Flyers spent a bundle on a front-loaded contract and haven't really seen a return on the investment, as Gratton has taken an apparent step back now that he is no longer "the man." Somehow, the Lightning also misses him, as they are the league's doormats this season.

6.) Viktor Kozlov. The Sharks traded down because they knew the guy they wanted would still be available. Then they decided they didn't want him so much anymore, and he has since joined Niedermayer in Florida. Not that anyone really notices.

7.) Jason Arnott. The Oilers got tired of saying "this will be his year" and sent him to New Jersey this season. He is showing some promise of late and may make the eventual loss of Doug Gilmour bearable, but Edmonton fans will be quick to tell the Devils not to hold their breath.

OUCH!
I know it's not economically feasible for the league to shorten its schedule, but the compressed nature of games this year, coupled with a weird Olympic break have produced some very frightening injury problems in the stretch run.

Paul Kariya's concussion continues to cause him dizziness and mood swings, which has all but short-circuited the Mighty Ducks' hopes of a second consecutive playoff berth. And even if they make it, they will make easy fodder in the first round.

Suddenly struggling Colorado is without Joe Sakic, who was hurt in Canada's upset loss in the bronze medal game against Finland. Teemu Selanne, the only other player worth watching in Anaheim after Kariya, finally returned after an injury which he aggravated, keeping him out of that medal contest.

Eric Lindros ducked and took Darius Kasparaitis's shoulder in the noggin', producing another concussion. The Devils' leader, Gilmour, has had arthroscopic surgery to dianose a problem with his knee, but may be back in just a week or so. Phoenix, with all their struggles in the second half, is now without leading scorer Keith Tkachuk, who pulled his groin.

I'm not sure I have a point, except these guys should eat their vegetables. But what is definitely clear is the injuries could make for some major upsets in the first round of the playoffs.

MISCELLANY
In case you've had time to say "wow" since Wayne Gretzky's last milestone, he just picked up his 1000th NHL goal (regular season and playoffs, combined) in a 6-3 loss to New Jersey.

ESPN is setting new standards for on-the-spot coverage. During their coverage Sunday night of the Flyers/Penguins game, the rumor began to circulate that Flyers coach Wayne Cashman's job was about to end. During the broadcast, they got a second rumor that Roger Neilson, an assistant coach in St. Louis, had suddenly left that organization. And just to prove a point, the Flyers' next game was on ESPN2 on Tuesday. Wonder who was going to man the bench?

Not that anyone has paid any attention, but recent surges in the Northeast Division may be changing the face of the playoff picture. The Sabres have been on a roll lately, erasing early season fumblings thanks to Dominik Hasek's goaltending, and the Hurricanes, which obviously nobody has noticed, are taking a run at slumping Ottawa's final playoff spot, even without Sergei Fedorov.

To be traded in the next two weeks: Paul Coffey, Joe Murphy, Gary Suter, Daigle, Mike Keane and Larry Murphy.

If you can help me figure out which of Rob Blake, Scott Niedermayer or Niklas Lidstrom will walk away with a Norris Trophy this year, please do!

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