The Plight of the Penguins

Maybe the fix was in after all.

More details are coming to light regarding Don Barden and Majestic Star's successful acquisition of the Pittsburgh slots license.

First off, Barden was the only African-American applicant for a slots license, not just in Pittsburgh, but all Pennsylvania. And when state legislators legalized slot casinos, they specifically crafted the language to put extra emphasis on racial diversity. I reckon French-Canadian doesn't count.

Barden also just happens to be best buddies with Bill DeWeese, the speaker of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives. In fact, DeWeese even watched the Pittsburgh Steelers win last year's Super Bowl from Barden's private box at Ford Field in Detroit.

Yeah, that's right, Barden comes from Detroit. (Sunshine) Detroit! First the Red Wings and now this.

Anyway, DeWeese calls Barden a "close confidant." Don't judge. And DeWeese appointed one of the members of the state Gaming Control Board. But really, there's no conflict of interest there at all. I mean, Barden wouldn't be the kind of person to parlay personal friendships into financial and political gains, would he? Surely, he wouldn't stoop to bribery and such, right?

Barden owns several other casinos, including one in Gary, Indiana. Before former Gary mayor Scott King left office, he negotiated a deal with Barden to cut the casino's monthly payments to the city in half. As soon as King left office, he just happened to get a job working for Barden. Wow, what are the odds?

Barden has also been reported to have co-signed an illegal loan for a Detroit congresswoman. Clearly, he's a scholar and a gentleman. The state should be proud to do business with him. After all, why support Mario Lemieux, an adopted son who still lives here and who's donated millions of dollars and countless energy to local hospitals and charities, when you can back a liar and a thief from Detroit? (Sunshine) Detroit!

Ed Rendell

Word on the street is DeWeese let Rendell decide who got the slots licenses in Philadelphia, while Rendell let DeWeese pull the string for Barden in Pittsburgh. Once the Penguins and their supporters blew the whistle on Rendell's shenanigans with Forest City, he needed a way out, so might as well throw DeWeese a bone.

Politicians are a blight on humanity. The whole thing is morally repugnant. Perhaps the most nauseating aspect of the entire charade was watching the idiotic stooges on the state Gaming Control Board prattle on and on about how difficult their job was and how wonderful they all were for doing it. (Sunshine) them. (Sunshine) Rendell. (Sunshine) DeWeese. (Sunshine) Allegheny County executive Dan Onorato. (Sunshine) Pittsburgh mayor Luke Ravenstahl. And (sunshine) anyone who believes in an honest man. Lie, cheat, and steal. That's the only way to get ahead in life, kids. Do it to them before they do it to you.

Luke Ravenstahl

Lemieux and the Penguins will now explore all options, including relocation. Sad but true. If you think Gary Bettman and the NHL are going to stand in the way, guess again. Here's Bettman's official statement...

“The decision by the Gaming Commission was terrible news for the Penguins, their fans and the NHL. The future of this franchise in Pittsburgh is uncertain and the Penguins now will have to explore all other options, including possible relocation. The NHL will support the Penguins in their endeavors.”

Encouraging, huh? Yes, sir, that Bettman is a born leader. To think, I almost took back all the terrible things I said about him. Now I have to start thinking of more short jokes.

But I wouldn't blame Lemieux if he waited until the Mellon Arena lease ran out and then sold the team to the highest bidder. The club will be worth a hell of a lot more if it were portable, with no ties to the city of Pittsburgh. If Onorato and Ravenstahl want to negotiate their farcical "Plan B," let them negotiate with a new owner. See what kind of deal that guy gives the city.

The proposed "Plan B" calls for Barden to pay $7.5 million a year towards a new arena. The Penguins would pay $8.5 million up front, with annual payments of around $4 million. The rest of the money would be paid by taxpayers. Because who wants a free arena when we can all pay for it?

Dan Onorato

So, over the course of a 30-year mortgage, the Penguins would be required to pay a total of around $128.5 million. I'm sure a new owner is just gonna jump all over that sweet deal. Let's see, pay $128.5 million over 30 years, or get a new arena for free in a new city where everyone will bend over backwards to accommodate you? Tough call.

Some people are actually holding out hope for "Plan B." See, the problem with "Plan B" is it requires us to trust politicians. I can tell you right now what's going to happen. The negotiations with the Penguins will fall apart and go absolutely nowhere, forcing Lemieux to sell the team to an outsider, probably his friend Boots Del Biaggio, who desperately wants to bring a team to Kansas City. Then, once the Penguins are gone, Onorato and Ravenstahl will say, "We did everything we could to save the team, but Lemieux and the Penguins wanted to leave town. They didn't want to make a deal."

And that's that. The Penguins are doomed. It's over. We need a miracle.

Mark Cuban, a city turns its lonely eyes to you.

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