LCS Hockey: Born Again
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July 18, 2019
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Itís Go Time



Well, well, well. So we meet again.

The Pittsburgh Penguins and Detroit Red Wing will square off tonight in the Motor City, facing each other for the first time since those filthy Wings beat the Arctic Birds for the Stanley Cup.

Detroit is once again atop the Central with a 9-2-2 record. Pittsburgh has fought through injuries to Sergei Gonchar and Ryan Whitney, not to mention Kid Crosbyís inability to score goals, to post a respectable 8-4-2 mark.

Yeah, itís definitely a marquee matchup. But this is all about Marian fín Hossa.

That creep Hossa bailed on the Penguins this summer, taking less money to sign a one-year deal with the filthy Red Wings. And he did so because he felt signing with Detroit gave him a better chance to win a Stanley Cup.

Hey, jackass. If you scored more in the Finals, youíd already have a Cup.

This game should be all about punishing Maid Marian. I want my pound of flesh, damn it! Beat those thirty pieces of silver from his mangy hide! Matt Cooke, Iím looking in your direction. Paul Bissonnette, this is why youíre in the NHL. Eric Godard, do what you gotta do. No one crosses the family.

It amazes me how people are surprised at the level of hatred for Hossa among Penguin fans. Listen, Iím all for spiritual evolution and raising oneís consciousness. I practice three forms of meditation each day in pursuit of truth, and Iím a strong believer in entanglement and the unifying principles of quantum physics. But even I want to see Hossa beaten severely about the head and shoulders. And Iím not the only one.

"Oh, yeah, there's [anger],Ē said Max Talbot to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazetteís Dave Molinari. ďYou can't forget about something like that because everybody in the organization and [the players], we expected him to come back. We thought he was comfortable here, and he was really good with [Sidney Crosby as his center], and stuff.

"The way he left was kind of, [a blow] to the heart, but you have to live with that. ... You have to respect his decision, but, for us, it's not the best thing that could have happened."

Always the diplomat, Kid Crosby correctly points out Hossa earned the right to choose where he wanted to play. But he didnít earn the right to stab the Penguins in the back, making a mockery of last seasonís playoff run and betraying the teammates and fans who welcomed him with open arms.

Hossa could have signed with any other team in the league, and I would have wished him well. But signing with the filthy Wings? Inexcusable.

And to say he made the decision because the Wings give him a better chance to win a championship is a slap in the face to Kid Crosby, Geno Malkin, Marc-Andre Fleury and every other proud Penguin who bled alongside him in valiant pursuit of hockeyís ultimate prize. Unforgivable.

The two clubs meet again on February 8 in Pittsburgh. But thereís no time like the present. Hossa must go down, and he must go down hard.

You know what you tell a Marian Hossa with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told him twice.


REALLY?
The New York Rangers are dirtbags.

Yeah, hardly breaking news, but the Blueshirts are trying to get a compensatory second-round pick in the wake of Alexei Cherepanov's tragic death.

New York drafted Cherepanov 17th overall in the 2007 Entry Draft but was unable to sign the 19-year-old prior to his untimely passing during a KHL game on October 13. Normally, when a team canít come to terms with a first-rounder within two years, the player re-enters the draft, and the club receives a second-round pick as compensation. The Rangers are attempting to say Cherepanovís death prevented them from signing him, entitling them to a draft pick, no matter how ghoulish or tasteless it may be.

"We are not attempting to capitalize on a tragedy, but there would be no question regarding the Rangers' right to a compensatory pick if Cherepanov had been revived and survived the incident and were on life support," said Rangers assistant GM Cam Hope. "If an unsigned player sustained a massive injury on or off the ice, the drafting team would get a compensatory pick. We understand that this is a sensitive issue, but with all due respect to Alexei's family and his memory, he is technically eligible to be drafted again next year."

Did he just say that? Cherepanov is eligible to be drafted next year?!?

Egad, man! That could be the most ignorant thing Iíve ever read. And keep in mind, Iíve read all my own stuff, so I know ignorant when I see it.

The Rangers need to shut the (sunshine) up. Their only concern should be the poor ladís friends and family. The kid is dead. Who gives a (sunshine) about a (sunshininí) draft pick?

Karma is a harsh mistress. And I reckon itís a lesson the Blueshirts need to learn the hard way. Chalk up their impending collapse to the Curse of Cherepanov.


BUSINESS AS USUAL
As expected, Montrealís Tom Kostopoulos received a paltry three-game suspension for boarding Mike Van Ryn. The NHLís dean of discipline and resident half-wit Colin Campbell issued the following statement:

"While it is my determination that Kostopoulos did not deliver a check to an unsuspecting opponent, his actions caused injuries.Ē

Unbelievable.

Basically, Campbell is blaming Van Ryn for not protecting himself, and he also references the NHLís idiotic policy of punishing injuries and not actions. Rest assured, had Van Ryn jumped to his skates, Kostopoulos wouldnít have been suspended at all.

With each passing day, weíre one step closer to someone dying on the ice. And when that day comes, and it will, Gary Bettman and his merry buffoons will claim theyíve done all they can to preserve player safety. Let the blood be on their hands.

Out, damned spot! Out, I say. Foró wait, hold on. I gotta split. Kostopoulos just stole my wifeís purse.





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