January 17, 2019
Superhero Tournament - Round Two
by Michael Menser Dell, Editor-in-Chief
STAN LEE BRACKET
Spider-Man (1) vs Hawkeye (8): Hawkeye and Trapper John score weekend passes and decide to bolt for Tokyo before Colonel Blake changes his mind. Spider-Man swings into the Sweet Sixteen.
Iron Man (4) vs Apache Chief (12): Inyuk-chuk! But even the spirit of the Great Bear isn't enough to combat the awesome power of Iron Man. Realizing he's no match for the wizardry of modern technology, Apache Chief attempts to broker a peace treaty, offering Iron Man some firewater. A few hours later, Tony Stark is sleeping off a nasty bender, and Apache Chief is into round three.
Captain Marvel (3) vs The Spectre (11): Two of the most powerful characters in the DC universe collide. The Spectre is the Wrath of God. Captain Marvel, though, is the Wrath of Gomer Pyle. Shazam! Captain Marvel moves on.
Ghost Rider (10) vs Black Lightning (15): After his stirring upset of Professor Xavier in the opening round, Black Lightning is once again the underdog, squaring off against the supernatural scourge, Ghost Rider.
Black Lightning uses his street smarts to lure Ghost Rider into the Suicide Slums of Metropolis. Once on his home turf, Black Lightning gains in strength, using his electrical powers to fend off his foe's ferocious hellfire until a street gang mugs Ghost Rider and steals his motorcycle. Welcome to the 'hood, punk. Black Lightning continues his march to glory.
BOB KANE BRACKET
Batman (1) vs Nightcrawler (9): Thankfully, Batman's utility belt comes equipped with fuzzy blue elf repellent. The Caped Crusader is into the Sweet Sixteen.
Captain Britain (4) vs Iceman (5): Apparently, Iceman has become one of the most powerful mutants in the Marvel Universe. Iceman? Really? Who cancelled? Captain Britain stuffs him in a blender and turns him into a real wicked Slush Puppy.
Captain America (3) vs Punisher (11): Always the true boy scout, Captain America feels it's his duty to bring the Punisher to justice, and it's not just because of his opponent's violent vigilantism. No, the good Captain is angered more by the two box office bombs Punisher unleashed on the American people. Talk about terrorism. Cap plants his shield upside Punisher's melon, striking a blow for movie lovers everywhere.
Wolverine (2) vs Deadpool (10): Speaking of movies, did you know Ryan Reynolds is playing Deadpool in the upcoming Wolverine flick? Seriously. Van f'ing Wilder. What, was Dane Cook busy? The news puts Logan into a berserker rage, and he slashes his way into the Sweet Sixteen.