Motor City Massacre

Pavel Datsyuk photo by Matthieu Masquelet

What a revolting development.

Really, 5-0? I thought Detroit was supposed to be wearing down. What happened? I don’t want to write about this any more than I have to, so let’s make this quick.

Pittsburgh came out flying and established an excellent pace. The Pens were getting the puck deep, finishing checks, cycling, and doing everything they had to do to be successful. It looked like a continuation of Game Four. The Malkin-Fedotenko-Talbot line was particularly dominant, misfiring on a few glorious chances in tight.

And then Marc-Andre Fleury gave up another soft one. Aw, that hurts. The Pens got rattled and completely fell apart in the second, butchering a line change and taking one foolish penalty after another. The Wings filled the net on the power play, connecting for three goals on nine chances, and that was that. Just awful.

At least the game wasn’t televised or anything. I mean, could you imagine if the NHL had a prime-time network deal and this travesty was shown all across the nation?

WILTED FLOWER… AGAIN
And after I wrote that swell article about him yesterday.

This is what makes Marc-Andre Fleury so maddening. Great one second, terrible the next.

Fleury was strong early, stoning Henrik Zetterberg and Johan Franzen on dangerous scoring chances. The Flower looked in total control. That’s why it’s all the more stupefying he’d surrender that pitiful goal to Dan Cleary.

It’s a 2-on-2. No threat whatsoever. Datsyuk moved it across to Cleary. Not hard to read. And Cleary pushed a fluttering quail to the cage that somehow eluded Fleury’s glove. I don’t want to hear any garbage about it coming from between Orpik’s legs. I don’t want to hear how it dipped. That puck can’t go in. Period.

That’s a back-breaking goal. The Pens were taking it to Detroit. To have a shot like that find net, on a completely innocent chance, is demoralizing.

Even the second goal was questionable. Yeah, the Pens got caught in a line change, and Filppula slipped in free behind the defense, but Fleury didn’t react well at all. Again, that’s an easy play to read. With the pass coming from the right wing wall, the flow dictates Filppula is going backhand. He didn’t have much time or space. But Fleury didn’t stay square and reached with the pad, opening the five-hole wide. Granted, everyone else on the ice screwed up too, but that’s when your netminder needs to bail you out.

The third goal was shameful in that the penalty-killers allowed Niklas f’n Kronwall to walk in front like he was Steve Yzerman. That’s on Gill and Scuderi. Still, Fleury didn’t help matters any, dropping his paddle to the ice and leaning forward. If he maintains position, keeping a straight butterfly, that puck doesn’t go in.

Once that third goal went in, the game was over. At least that’s how the Pens acted. Fleury was hopelessly screened on the fourth and didn’t have much of a chance on the fifth. But the damage was already done.

Before the series, I said Fleury couldn’t afford any soft goals against the Wings. Well, Cleary’s was at least the fourth in five games. That’s simply not good enough. Can’t win Stanley Cups with mediocre goaltending.

Give Chris Osgood credit. He answered the bell in Game Five, making a desperation glove save in a goal-mouth scramble to keep the game scoreless early in the first when the Pens were rolling. He also made the long lead pass up to Marian Hossa to catch the Pens in the line change that led to Filppula’s goal.

DATSYUKED
I actually thought Pavel Datsyuk looked rather terrible early in the game. His skating appeared labored, and he was lagging a step behind most plays. But he got involved in a big way when he blasted Evgeni Malkin off the puck…

Even though he clearly wasn’t at full strength, Datsyuk is as smart as they come when taking away ice on defense, and his patience with the puck helped settle down the Detroit power play. It’s a whole new world with Pavel along the half-wall. The Pens would be wise to avoid the penalty box in Game Six.

EMBARRASSING
Pittsburgh cracked. The Pens showed no composure at all in the second period, with Malkin, Kunitz, Talbot, and even Crosby taking stupid penalties.

Once you fall behind 3-0 to the Wings, it’s pretty much over. And unlike the Flyers, the Wings aren’t going to give you the chance to stir things up physically. Talbot turned the tide against Philly with a fight. The Wings won’t take the bait. Crosby tried to get Zetterberg to go, but no dice. No one on Detroit is going to drop the gloves. Ever. This is the one time a year when being a (sunshine) counts as being “professional.”

But the Penguins have to be smarter than that. You can’t be slashing guys in the foot or face-washing Darren f’n Helm. The Wings displayed a champion’s poise. The Pens, well, not so much.

STARS DIDN’T SHINE
Crosby and Malkin had one shot each. Yippee. Malkin was tremendous early, but his line couldn’t bury their chances. Crosby was a complete non-factor. And once the Wings get a lead, it’s all trap, all the time. No room to do anything. This one got away from the Penguins in a hurry.

NOW WHAT?
This was the fifth game in eight days. The Wings were beaten and battered and primed for defeat. The Pens let them off the hook.

There are two days off before the series resumes Tuesday night in Pittsburgh. Heading into Game Five, those two off days before Game Six seemed like Detroit’s last gasp. The Penguins are suddenly the ones who need to regroup.

Considering the stakes and the humiliating way in which they conducted themselves, what with all the cheap, selfish penalties, Game Five could very well be the most embarrassing loss in Penguin history.

On the bright side, momentum, while enormous within the course of a game, doesn’t carry over between contests. Each game starts fresh. So this debacle is dead. Put dimes on its eyes. Bury it. It’s done.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to curl up with a bottle of gin and cry myself to sleep…

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