Securing Sid

To goon or not to goon? That's the big question in Pittsburgh these days as Sidney Crosby continues to get abused on a nightly basis.

In the span of about three weeks, Crosby's been speared in the ribs by Jason Blake, butt-ended in the face by Maxim Lapierre, and high-sticked in the mouth by Francois Bouillon. All three incidents went unpenalized. It's clear the NHL has no intention of protecting Crosby, or any of its superstars for that matter, so it's up to the Penguins. Enough's enough. And the Bouillon high-stick, while completely accidental, could be the tipping point.

If you missed it, Crosby was tied up in front of the Montreal net with another Canadien when Bouillon turned to chase the puck and inadvertently caught Sid in the mouth with the blade of his stick. Crosby wasn't even looking at Bouillon when it happened, so he went down immediately. Granted, he did go down rather dramatically, but it was late in the third period of a close game. Sid was trying to draw a penalty, so of course he's going to make it obvious that he got sticked in the mouth. Tell me one star player who wouldn't.

As mentioned earlier, no penalty was called on the play. Crosby stayed on the ice a second or two while he checked his teeth, drawing chants of "Faker! Faker!" from the rabid Montreal crowd. But it's not like Sid forced a stoppage in play; he pulled himself to his skates and got to the bench. And that's when things got interesting.

Time to drop the elbow.

During a subsequent whistle, Crosby and Mark Recchi were sitting at the end of the Pittsburgh bench awaiting their next shift when Aaron Downey, he of the 13 points in 181 career games, leaned over the boards and started yapping. See, Downey was at the end of the Montreal bench waiting for his next shift, too, and since that was probably two or three days away, he had plenty of time between opening the door for real hockey players to chat it up with Crosby.

Downey apparently told Sid, "If you're going to be a superstar in this league, you shouldn't be acting like that." Yeah, because if there's one guy who knows what it means to be a superstar, it's Aaron Downey. Seriously, who cancelled? Pedro Martinez just called to ask, "Who is Aaron Downey?"

For Pedro and anyone else who forgot, Aaron Downey is the guy Robyn Regehr knocked the (sunshine) out earlier this season. Notice how quick Downey went down. And he kind of rolled around like a two-bit punk, even needing help off the ice. I hear tell he went to the hospital. I don't know, dude, if you're gonna be a tough guy in this league, you shouldn't be acting like that.

Oh, and who can forget this memorable Downey moment? Yes, sir, he's a tough guy. I don't know, dude, if you're gonna be a (sunshinin') (sunshine) in this league, you shouldn't... no, wait, you should act exactly like that. Well done.

Needless to say, Crosby didn't take kindly to Downey's taunts, unleashing a verbal tirade of his own. Recchi stepped in and backed up Sid, but I hardly think the presence of a diminutive, balding 39-year-old is gonna act as much of a deterrent.

The coverage of the incident has been pathetic. For some reason, Crosby's getting hammered because he had the audacity to go down after getting hit in the face with a stick. Keep in mind, if that had been Koivu who got high-sticked, Montreal fans would be holding candlelight vigils. If the Maple Leafs had a star, and that star got sticked in the mouth without a penalty, Don Cherry would be screaming bloody murder. But since it happened to Crosby, it's his fault for not being tougher. It's ridiculous. It's just the old Canadian guard refusing to admit that a 19-year-old kid is making a mockery of the scoring race. According to them, Crosby has to pay his dues. He needs to wait his turn. It's that kind of neanderthal thinking that kept Crosby off the Canadian Olympic team. They don't give medals for seventh place, do they?

Where's the NHL in all this? The league should be doing everything in its power to protect the Crosbys and Ovechkins of the world. Can you imagine back in the day what the NBA would have done if some clown just walked over and punched Michael Jordan in the face? No doubt, had the current NHL management team been in place for the NBA back then, no one would even know who Michael Jordan is. Gary Bettman and his band of buffoons are obsessed with mediocrity. They'd rather protect the interests of the third- and fourth-line pluggers than the game's superstars. The NHL is a joke. Always has been, always will be.

So it's up to the individual teams to protect their own. In the case of the Penguins, they've played all season without a goon, hoping the "new" NHL would keep rough stuff to a minimum. The Pens pride themselves on team toughness, and they do a wonderful job of sticking up for one another, with guys like Ryan Malone, Maxime Talbot, Chris Thorburn, Colby Armstrong, and Jarkko Ruutu all willing to drop the gloves. Sadly, being willing to do it and being good at it isn't the same thing. No one's going to think twice about slashing Sid if they know fighting Talbot is the only repercussion.

And there are actually some idiots out there saying Crosby is going to have to protect himself. Obviously, you can't have Sid running around punching people. In case you haven't noticed, Crosby's hands are kind of important. The last thing you need is Sid breaking a hand on some no-talent hack's head. And if clubs know they can get Crosby to fight, the abuse will only get worse, not better. Crosby can score from anywhere except the penalty box.

The Penguins need a heavyweight. They need the People's Champ. They need Georges Laraque.

Gretzky

The Phoenix Coyotes are going nowhere. Laraque will definitely be available. If Wayne Gretzky has an ounce of decency in his shriveled little frame, he'll trade Laraque to Pittsburgh to provide Crosby with the same sort of protection he enjoyed with Dave Semenko and Marty McSorely. Gretzky owes Crosby. What better way to say "I'm sorry for leaving you off Team Canada" than sending the best fighter in the league to provide security for Sid.

The big argument right now against bringing in a goon is that it might mess with team chemistry. Pittsburgh spanked the Nashville Predators 4-1 last night and is 9-0-2 in its last 11 games, threatening fourth place in the Eastern Conference. But the cool thing about adding Laraque is it will only strengthen team chemistry. With Laraque around, everyone is going to feel a bit faster, stronger, and courageous. Laraque has enough skill to skate occasional shifts with Crosby or Evgeni Malkin, so you don't just have to plant him at the end of the bench. And people forget that injuries happen. The same 12 forwards won't be skating every night from here on out. Having Laraque around gives you options. And you know what else will mess with team chemistry? Crosby missing two to four weeks with a broken jaw.

But if you want to know why the Penguins need Laraque, look no further than Sid's verbal exchange with Downey. Crosby shouldn't even know Downey exists. Yet Sid got so fired up over everything, he tried to do a bit too much in the overtime and lost the puck, leading to Sheldon Souray's game-winner. If Laraque had been there, the moment he heard Downey start to yap, he would have simply stood up and told Downey to talk to him. And that would have been the end of all the festivities. Crosby could have spent that time focusing on the game, and not some stooge who can't play it.

Just because you have Laraque on the bench, doesn't mean you have to engage in goon tactics. But if someone else makes that decision, well, then everybody will get a chance to smell what Laraque is cookin'.

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